Mixed feelings about Sharing

"I still can't believe we made it out" the philodox says as he walks alongside Eaton.

Looking up at Eiger and Rends. "Well mostly anyway."

He rubs the back of his neck as he glances over at the packs Balaam princess but still talking to his galliard, "Im glad we were able to come here and hopefully finish what we set out to do."

The Apache wiping a bead of sweat from his head, "But I am curious about what exactly was in that scroll that Malchizadek would have needed it for...and what made you think to grab it?"

He looks down at the jungle roots the pack traversed. "I'm not judging...well thats not entirely true-I do have conflicting feelings about it. I mean I never thought about where the Sicarrii got all their gear, but it just seems weird. All this seems strange..."

The philodox looked like he could keep going but he stopped his ramblings.
He turns to see Leper Friend. "I'm glad I know the truth about Mal, and I'm glad that we can put these fetishes to good use...but I still feel--Its almost like the feeling you get when someone walks over and starts eating food from your dinner plate before you've started to eat."

Zas looks back down. "I must sound crazy."

Eaton lightly patted his pack where the Philodox assumed the scrolls were secured,  

"They're spellbooks, actually. Not the kind that lets you sling fireballs or fly or nothin' like that. But small rites for the preparation of the dead. As far as I can tell, they ain't gifts or rites that we know of, but the traditions and workin's of regular folk. About preparin' the dead for passin' into the next world. I thought they'd be useful for enactin' the Rite of the Departed. Though I'm hopin' I don't have to use that one anytime soon. "

He shrugged, "Haven't really gotten a chance to test 'em out or nothin'. I mean, I took 'em 'cause I didn't think it woulda been useful for 'em to just sit there bein' used by nobody. And by the time we found out Mal was there .  . . eh, bringin' it up woulda been awkward."

Eaton gave a smile, though it carried a hint if uncertainty,"Come now, if it was makin' you uncomfortable, why didn't ya bring it up when we were plunderin' these things?"

Zas brow furrowed. "I mean, part of me feels like well, nobody else was using it-like you said. And even more than that, this is my pack. My family. If I can't trust you guys, who can I?"

He bites his lip, "Theres just so much about my own tribe I am finding out. I mean-you all literally know everything about my tribe that I do. But even still, some part of me felt off about running out of there like I had just robbed a grave."

He hissed at himself, "Its dumb. I guess I just wanted to show more reverence...no, thats not it. No. I mean Tala taking a fetish seemed right as she had helped us out..." he tossed his head back and throws his hands up in the air in exasperation.

"I don't know why I'm feeling weird Eaton. Thats half why Im angry...I think."

He growls, "A long time ago my tribe lost our home, our caerns, everything. The bits and pieces that Owl found collected and stored are all thats left of that place and time...memories of a land that was."

Zas looks back to his packmate. "Try as I might, I think Im just still bitter about that on behalf of my people. And more to the point-everything we just took feels like other tribes are looting my peoples stuff. To top it off, I have no tribal secret or mystery to keep to myself because you guys are with me and I think Im realizing Im not as ready to share as I thought."

The Silent Strider looks down again. "Here I am complaining about you guys playing with my tribes toys when you're over there struggling to even figure out what tribe you belong to. Sorry."

Eaton tapped his chin before he replied, "I see why ya feel that way. But, you don't necessary gotta see it that way. I don't think the point of a secret is just to sit on it and have it do nobody nothin'. It's somethin' ya show discretion about sharin', revealin' it when it can do the most good."

He produced the knife and looked it over, "Take these. Sure, we figured Mal would come across 'em in the future, but now that we're made privy on it, why not use it to our advantage? Don't tell me that Owl wouldn't let us take these unless he wanted us, to. If we was desicratin' anythin' I don't think he let us leave that place in one piece."

He put the knife back on his cord that served as his belt, "I'm sure Owl has more to show ya he just hasn't opened up about, yet."

He let out small laugh, "Oh, and don't be worrin' about me. I ain't strugglin'."

The disturbed philodox seemed to soften at his friends words. "Well I suppose that's true. Owl isn't the sort to just let us walk out of someplace he reigns without having some sort of say....even if his approval is of the non verbal sort-he did seem to give us permission by not intervening."

He reconsiders whats been said for a moment before turning back to Eaton. "Well anyway, at the very least I would like to sit down and read over that scroll with you. It might not seem like much to you but Malchizedek seemed a little disappointed that he didn't have access to the scroll...almost like it was going to be a bit of a delay for his own preparations without it. Maybe there's something in there he needs. It would be handy if it actually did teach how to make and throw a fireball."

"What changed?" Having cleared his head, Zas seemed to be returning to his usual self, as he pointedly nods at the Galliards last remark. "Last time we talked about it, you seemed pretty far from reaching any sort of conclusion of where you belonged. You find some type of step by step guide in a book you came across of how to become an uktena? Or...did you maybe decide you wanted to stay as one of rats children?"

Eaton chuckled, "I've know what to do to be Uktena for awhile. The problem was how to do it . Until now."

His tone turned serious "The Uketna of our time were forced on the retreat, barely clingin' on to their kin and only just containin' the banes they'd imprisoned. That was due to Bat bein' fallin' and all and messin' up their caerns and other spiritual wells. I'm pretty sure that was the reason I wasn't able to reach out."

He pasued, "Now . . . now they just may enough spare time for handlin' applicants."

His tone turned less seroius as he said, "Oh, when ya wanna look over the scrolls let me know. I've only gotta read 'em once, anyhow."

The Apache brave raises an eyebrow, "Well, assuming we can get this redemption of bat done...I suspect a great number of things might change for the better."

He puts a finger to his head and says, "But on the off chance we fail-do you have a back up plan?"