Mending Fences (Zoe and Rends)

Zoe stood staring out the window, lost in her thoughts. Three whole weeks had passed since the Prodigals has returned from the Abyss. She remained home as much as possible, focusing most of her energies on Connor and Agatha and spending very little time with her pack.

Her feelings concerning Mocks’ actions wavered daily between heart-breaking sadness and rage-inducing anger. She rarely landed in a neutral place. Her brothers seemed far more approving of his actions than the Theurge found appropriate, which also upset her.

Rends walked down the street with Silke and Jack. Zoe sighed and turned away from the window.

“Ya really should go talk to ‘im, love. Hidin’ yourself away in here ain’t doin’ ya any good.”

The Iron Rider knew her husband was right, but that did not mean she liked what he was saying.

“I haven’t spoken to him or the others in nearly three weeks. And not for lack of them trying to speak to me. I just...I haven’t been ready.”

The Irishman walked over and grabbed his wife’s hand.

“Love, if you’re waitin’ ‘til ya feel ready, ya may ne’er speak to any o’ ‘em.”

Once again he was right, whether she liked it or not. She pulled on her boots and walked to the door, pausing with her hand on the handle.

“Go on, love. Ya know it’s for the best.”

Zoe nodded and walked out front. She had to jog to catch up to the Clemonses.

"Hey, wait up!"

Silke turned and waved as Zoe approached.

"Silke, Jack..." Zoe glanced down and to the side. "Sylvester."

She swallowed hard once.

"Um...how are you guys?"

Her eyes met Silke's and then she smiled at Jack.

"Little Jackie's not so little any more, are you, buddy? No, you're not."

Not so little Jack burbbled happily and pulled a clump of beard free from the Full Moon's face. Grimacing, the bested warrior slung the victor up onto his shoulders and stopped to turn to Zoe.

"Hey Zoe! I jest got back from a little side job, and we're running low on some supplies so I kidnapped the brewmaster. Head of security up here was jest bringin' me in fer immediate execution."

Silke reaches up and tickles their son's foot, turning to Zoe.

"We haven't seen much of you lately, though it's hard to tell. Things have been busy lately."

Zoe scratched the back of her neck.

"Yeah, things have been pretty busy. And you seem to still be pretty busy, so I'll uh let y'all get back to things. Sorry to interrupt."

The Theurge turned to walk back toward her place.

"Ain't no interruption. In fact, I needed to pick up some things and give 'em to Connor. I could use a Theurge's touch though."

Rends waved for Zoe to join them and started back down the road.

"What've you been up to, anyhow?"

"Oh, I um, okay, sure, I'll walk with y'all."

At Rends' question, Zoe bit her lip.

"Silke, would you and Jack mind walking ahead? We'll catch up. Promise."

Mrs. Clemons nodded and moved Jack from Sly's shoulders to her own, sneaking a quick kiss on Rends' lips.

"I'm still mad, you know? And sad. And confused. And frustrated. He didn't even consult us. He just went and did what he wanted, like he always did."

The Iron Rider's tone of voice was harsh, but the tears in her eyes belied the sadness she was simultaneously feeling.

Rends walked on in silence for a moment and rubbed at the bare spot on his chin.

"He always did do things his way, didn't he? They was times I wanted to tear him to bits and go about our business. But I didn't. Except that one time. And it usually worked out in the end. Except that one time."

Rends shrugged, not meeting Zoe's eyes.

"He made his decision. He knew what he was doin'. He knew we had alternatives."

“He did. He knew we had alternatives. Did he really think so little of us that he believed him submitting to the will of the Abyss was our only way out? Sure, we had some pretty seriously injured among us, but we’ve never run away from a fight before.”

Zoe’s fingers clenched into fists as her eyes narrowed in anger.

“If he had gone down fighting and told us to make a run for it, that would be one thing. But he heard me tell Gyre that we would leave no one behind. That we were not bound by the will of the Abyss.”

He narrow eyes sprouted a couple of tears.

“And then to abandon Harriet and Jasnah and Jacob...”

"What can I say? I'm with ya."

He shrugs, kicking at a stone in the road.

"I wanted to believe he done the right thing. When I said goodbye to him I believed it. But that place..."

He shivers then digs into a coat pocket and fishes out his pipe and pouch.

"That place screwed with my head so I almost took up Gyrre on his offer. Looking back, I weren't in my right mind fer most of the time we was down there. It wore me down till they was almost nothin' left. I think Mocks was right there with me, but in his case I think the power was somethin' he wanted."

He takes a couple of puffs and steadies himself.

"Since we got out and got back to normal life I've realized somethin'. Or rather, I've realized I never understood somethin'. Cuz either Mocks the Night was never the Garou I thought he was or that place wore him down and killed him and I said goodbye to a corpse. Either way, all I can do is move on and be better."

His gaze lands on his own family.

"And I sure as Hell mean to be better. I think what he done to his family is the worst of it. I can't imagine doin' anything like that, but it keeps happening. My Pa, Robert, now Mocks..."

He puffs again, looking sick.

Zoe placed a strong hand on her former alpha's shoulder and looked him in the eye.

"Sylvester Rends-the-Gar Clemons, you listen to me. We all have weaknesses. We all have struggles. But if there is one thing I have seen in you consistently in the years I have known you, it is a determination to fight those weaknesses and engage with those struggles."

Zoe dropped her hand and sighed.

"The Abyss is a horrible place. I wish we had never gone there, but fate brought us there and it did not bring Mocks back."

The Theurge shook her head.

"You're right. All we can do is move on and do better...be better. Which brings me to my next point..."

She swallowed hard and sighed again.

"I'm sorry. Ever since we returned from the Abyss I've avoided you. I've seen a little bit of Zas and Eaton, but being around you reminds me of Mocks."

"Our pack is connected in the way a pack should be, but I always felt that you, Mocks, and I had a different relationship than the others had. Maybe that's all in my head. Either way, I'm sorry for not being there for you in a time when you, too, were grieving the loss of a friend and brother."

Rends is quiet for a moment, puffing away silently. When he speaks his voice has lost some of its gruff and gusto.

"You're like a sister to me, Zoe, and Mocks was my brother. I've lost friends before, but this feels like when I lost my family. I hate it."

He turns to face her.

"So let's make a promise. Never again. As long as we's able to fight, the Enemy gets nothing more from the Prodigals. Anyone we do lose goes down fightin' with pride."

He holds up a hand to shake.

"I won't let another brother lose himself."

Zoe nodded, shook his hand, then embraced her brother with a hug.

"I won't let you lose yourself either, Sly."

A single tear slipped from her eye and landed on the Ahroun's shoulder.

Rends hugs her back, feeling like something had finally fixed its self that he hadn't noticed was broken.

"I made a deal with Zas a while back, when I wasn't sure about myself. I think it's time to make a new pact, with you."

He holds Zoe out at arms length, meeting her eye with a determination burning in his eyes.

"Let's swear this before the spirits. We'll pick up our stuff and I'll come drop my stuff off at Connor's shop after, and you can summon a Truth spirit. Maybe the one who taught Mocks Liar's Face? Seems appropriate."