Who Can You Trust?

Zas sat on the shore of the river that ran along the front of the Caern entrance in homid form, his eyes brimming with anger. His rage was ready to burst free from his chest. He needed to calm himself. He needed to find a clear path.

He stared into the river for what felt like hours but what really was only minutes...seeking, searching, and desperately trying to find his lost inner peace. Movement in the water distracted his focus. He looked down to see a pair of beady black catfish eyes gazing up at him.

His mind momentarily flustered by the creatures sudden appearance, he simply turned his head up and looked at the night sky. Mere moments go by before Zas connects the fish to the caern, and his understanding came rushing back to him. He gazes into the water next to the fish and focuses solely on his reflection.

Seconds later he finds himself sitting in homid form outside the Caern on the umbral ground. Another presence lingered nearby. He makes to stand up and as he does so says, "Caern spirit? Do you come to offer guidance? If so, I am afraid I am not ready to receive it. My mind is not right. I am not at peace with myself."

In the penumbra, the stars shone close and bright, and the Milky Way burned slowly across the southern sky like a static aurora. Luna had just begun to rise, her rays filtering out over the hills and glens beyond the Guadalupe river. The pale light of the stars and half-moon danced in the suddently turbulent water as Catfish slid his bulk up to the edge of the rocky beach. The spirit was about as long as Zas was tall, its broad whiskered face regarding the Silent Strider with a look of calculating interest.

"The river listens and speaks in turn. Tell us, Snowy Owl, what is the cause of your disquiet?"

Its voice was thick, deep and sibilant, its unblinking eyes wavering beneath the water as it stared up at Zas.

Zas smiles momentarily as he looks away before his stern face returns and he gazes at the wise, aged, intrigued spirit. He waits several minutes before answering, but says with hesitation, "The ways of some Garou are not mine. You know of the river, how it can change its course over time...It is a slow change though the water may flow quickly. The ways of some of my kind move too fast. They forget the old ways or choose to ignore them. I do not see my place."

Zas looks cautiously around the area before he leans in conspiriatorially and says, "I don't know who I can speak to about this outside my pack. I was led to believe in the teachings and ways of my elders...now I can't trust in them."

He leans back away and says, "I was told long ago that my course would be a winding one. I did not realize that the course of truth was on a winding path as well."

Zas then stares back down at the ground and says, "That is why I lack peace."

He then turns to the catfish and says, "Do you understand?"

"Heh. Hoh. Heh." The slow gurgling laugh of the water spirit was not pleasant on the ears, but it conveyed a deep sense of mirth. "We understand you well enough. The river, it changes shape and course, but it is a river still."

Catfish lifted up its large mouth to the top of the water and took a long gasping breath. "Means and methods can change, be compromised. This is flexibility and adaptation. This is good. Look to your pack for aid and hear the words of the elders- then choose your course. Never obey unquestioningly."

"This restlessness you feel will pass. You are still at the headwaters of your journey. You are only beginning to have your eyes opened on your way to the sea."

Zas nods quietly at the spirit but says nothing. He simply gazes into the rushing stream letting both it and the words spoken by the spirit fill him with contentment as he continued to clear his head of all other thoughts.

After the spirit speaks Zas body seems to loosen up slightly and his inner rage begins to simmer while he takes several slow deep breaths before he says, "I will do these things, spirit. I do not wish to needlessly stir the troubled waters, and taking heed from my packmates I feel will serve me well. I feel that there is a path before me now that is no longer unclear. Thank you-...forgive me but you know me, I do not know you. What should I call you? And what chiminage may I offer you for your words?"

"I am the Old Mud Eater, the Uncatchable One. I am Catfish. I desire no chiminage other than my words are considered, if not heeded. You seek to uncover the flow of your own river's course, and this pleases me enough."

The large fish-spirit slid back down into the depths, leaving Zas alone on the shore with the stars.