Everyone's a Critic

Kefka was taking his turn keeping watch while the others slept. They were less than a day's ride away, and had already let the other Garou, whoever they might be, know they were coming. Kefka sat under Luna's warmth questioning his decisions. To bring Ben along, to bring along Zoey and Penelope, to not have someone in Lupus to help watch over them. His mind went back to Ben when a familar voice spoke in his mind.

"What troubles you Cliath? You should be keeping a better watch of the surroundings not getting lost in your mind."

"I tied our hands Thalia...we can't do anything with Ben here. He will see whatever we do. The other Garou will have no qualms killing him. By bringing him along I have brought about his death."

"You are absolutely right... so when he does die come to terms with it. Try to remember next time that humans are squishy and make terrible shields."

"Are you always going to appear to point out my mistakes?"

"Only as long as you keep making them. Don't take an attitude with me Cliathe, I am your ancestor and elder. Deceased or not I am your better, and when I am teaching; you best learn. Shadowlords are strong and respected, among the Garou Nation. A Shadowlord's strength comes not from muscles, but from strategy. Locate the weakness, use the environment, control the fight. When fighting remember it is not just you versus your oponnent. You can turn everything against them. Win the battle of the mind and the body will follow suit. You give respect, even when not due. It is time you take respect. Time to demand it. Be proud of your deeds. Be proud of your tribe. Make your ancestors proud. That howl you made tonight? Never again. Litany calls for introductions, they would have asked your business if they cared. By introducing yourself they know you mean no harm. You looked like a fool. Heed my words I don't like repeating myself."

And with that the voice was gone. In it's place the weight of failure like Kefka had never known before. He sat motionless, until Zas awoke for his shift.

Zas slept comfortably on the trail. Being on the road was good. Falling asleep took longer than normal however as his mind had been racing, trying to come up with a means of solving the pack's human problem as well as the issues they'd likely face upon nearing the Caern. When no such answers came to him Zas drifted slowly off to sleep.

A few hours later his body woke him up. Having developed a bit of routine with trading shifts over the past several days, it was more second nature to wake up at odd hours. As Zas started to get his senses about him he noticed Mocks-The-Night's sour looking demeanor.

Curious as to why the ragabash's trademark laugh and smile seemed so greatly diminished Zas got up and walked over to Mocks and performed a stretch to loosen up as he says with a poorly veiled attempt at concealing his concerned face, "Something troubles you friend. What is it?"

Mocks turns and looks at Zas and attempts to muster a smile. When the concerned look on Zas's face does not leave, he frowns and turns away. "Everything at this moment my friend." He takes a deep breath and stares off."Did you grow up with other Silent Striders? Did they teach you from a young age? Were you always aware of Garou even before your first change?"

Zas rubs his chin and straightens up as he recalls his youth. He reminices briefly and then says, "My father was a Silent Strider but he was the only one. He revealed nothing to me about our tribe before I changed. I knew my father was different from others in the village but I didn't know he was Garou. He taught me what I needed to know to survive, but he wasn't much for giving lessons on Garou culture and lore."

Zas ponders the questions before turning to Kefka and saying, "Why do you ask? Do you think the caern is a Silent Strider caern or something?"

Mocks listens intently to the little past Zas has revealed to him, and is taken aback by Zas's question.
"A Silent Strider caern? I should hope not, we don't need any more tribal relations getting in the middle of this problem. It's bad enough there may be some Get around." Mocks stands up and stretches. "I was just curious how you learned to be a Silent Strider and to represent your tribe. Rends had his daddy and met some Get down in Galveston, and then met ole Roaring Jack. Hears the Song found her to way a caern of Iron Riders. Leper Friend has all sorts of friends in that Bone Gnawer Colony...I just feel lost my friend. I have only ever met one other Shadow Lord in my lifetime and we parted ways after my Rite of Passage...All I have are voices in my head telling me I need to make them proud. I need to become powerful. I need to be respected. I need to learn what it means to be Shadow Lord..." He takes a deep breath and looks at Zas. "How can I be something I know so little about?"

Zas is quiet as Keka explains himself. He nods along appropriately and says nothing after his pack mate concludes his thoughts. Taking in the information Zas sits down next to Kefka and stares at the ground as he contemplates what he will say.

After a few moments, Zas nods once, having decided internal his word choice and says to Kefka, "I think you ask a question you know the answer to."

When Mocks gives him a funny look Zas continues, "You say that you have others that speak to you, telling you what you must do and who you should be. Yet, here you are. You are the only Shadowlord I have ever met. You represent your tribe. You need not try and be something or someone else. You have become who you are by the decisions you have made and with both Gaia and Luna's blessing. You are a Shadowlord because you have decided to be."

Zas pauses before adding, "Being who you are is not a process. It is a choice. Be who you think you need and want to become. Strive to be the best at whatever you choose to do. None can say otherwise when you give your best. Be warned though that often the most dangerous foe we will ever meet is ourself."

Mocks smiles a genuine smile when Zas finishes speaking. "Well at least I have you fooled. That helps immensely." he chuckles slightly. "You should meet Drowns His Foes one day. He is a Judge of Doom. crazy, merciless, unnerving...You might like him. You can bond on a different level then I ever could."

Zas shakes his head. "I don't think I would like him. He sounds cruel. Bonding with someone so unpleasant would be difficult."

Zas stares at Kefka as he says, "This is everything that troubles you? Or is there more you've not said?"

"I jest Snowy Owl. It was a poor attempt at a joke, perhaps in the morning I shall be funny again. I wouldn't say he is cruel. He came and found me after I was cast aside by my family after all. It is through him that I am a Shadow Lord. He was the first Garou I met until you all. He held the Litany in highest regard, I respect him for that. Only Gaia knows where I would be if I didn't go meet him..." Mocks trails off and stares ahead silently.
"You asked what else is wrong. I made an error in judgement. We should not have brought Ben along. We are to meet other Garou tomorrow night...How are we to do this without breaking the Litany? Besides killing him before we get into town..." He pauses and looks the Snowy Owl in his eyes. "If we don't whoever we are meeting might. We at least would be kinder about it. We should have left with the horses ditched them after the first night and ran here. We could have covered much more ground, moved faster. I should not have argued so adamantly with you and Hears the Song, and I apologize."

Zas raises his hands up in a slow down gesture. "My friend, easy. Nothing has been done that is unforgiven."

After Kefka stops, Zas puts a hand on his shoulder and says, "Upholding the Litany is the duty given me. Please, worry not over such things. You have a different calling and focus-one that I think will be vital very soon. I will need you focused if we have any chance of creating peace."

Zas sighs and says, "Bringing the ranger was wise. We at least know who is watching us this way. I do know that killing him is something we cannot do. We informed those who are expecting us that he was with us. If whoever is expecting us see that we told them falsely, we will have that much more difficulty to reaching peace."

"If they choose to ignore the Litany, they will pay for it. We must however fulfill our claims."

Zas contemplates further before responding, "Had we gotten rid of the horses we would not have any information or knowledge of the Wyrm's presence here."

"As for you discussing your ideas with Hears-The-Song and myself, I would ask that you not apologize, but rather that you continue to do what you have done. Gaia saw it fitting to have you question our decisions. You would not be fulfilling your duty if you chose to simply accept every decision that was made by others in the pack."

Zas pats Kefka playfully and says with a smile, "So, that said, I'm afraid I can't accept your apology. If you don't like that...too bad."

Kefka sits down as Zas speaks taking in what he has said. After few minutes of contemplative thought he turns to Zas with a smirk on his face.

"True. The Litany is your horse to ride...and I don't envy you one bit. Just look at me right now...all out of sorts and doubting myself, I would make a rotten Philadox. I am much more suited to mocking, talking, and just being an all around general nuisance. It's a hard life Gaia has called me to follow...but I think I can manage.

He gives Zas a sly grin as he stands up and stretches.

"I suppose everything has worked out well so far on this trip thanks to Gaia. We have yet to be attacked, we have more knowledge of what is to come...If this turns out well I may shall remember this talk and question you even more."

He gives Zas a wink and then chuckles, before returning to a more solemn attitude.

"I do thank you for talking to me, i was in need of a talk, and it helped me immensely. I should like to do the same for you one day. I do still wish to live up to the expectations of my people. I think there is much can learn from them, however until I meet some and gain a better perspective of my people I shall do my best to push it aside for later and focus on our current problems... like who answered our call. It could be good or bad depending on who it is. I shall be ready to talk about peace tomorrow my friend, but I shall also be ready for a fight. You know what they say... the easiest way to have peace is to be the last one standing." Kefka than turns away and begins to whistle as he finds a nice spot to lay down for that.