Too Late to 'pologize?

It was the night after the Prodigals had settled affairs with Anson Jones. The pack had set up camp and dealt out watch duties. Zas had gone out on the first watch. Eaton laid down to sleep before the second watch, leaving Rends, Mocks, and Zoe seated around the camp fire. Things had been awkward for Zoe around her alpha and beta ever since the heated discussion a few nights prior concerning the Necromantis. She knew things would continue to be uncomfortable unless she took the next step toward resolving the matter.

The Theurge shifted uncomfortably in her seat and cleared her throat. She kept opening her mouth to speak but no words came out. She cleared her throat again and stood up, hoping the change in posture would help her speak. Her eyes were focused on Rends' boots as she spoke.

"I - I want to apologize for the other night. I was way out of line in the way that I spoke to both of you. There is no excuse for my behavior and I just wanted to say that I'm sorry."

She glanced up to make eye contact with her pack mates to see if they would accept her apology.

Rends had his eyes closed as he puffed contentedly on his pipe. He smothered a sigh of relief with a long pull, then let the smoke billow out his nose.

"Good. Glad you've come to your senses. What had you so bothered anyhow?"

He turns to Mocks.

"I bet she jest misses Agatha."

Kafka cocked his head to side and smiled.

"I appreciate the apology Zoe. Thank you. Ain't no harm done."

Zoe sighed with relief and shook her head at Rends' question.

"I don't know, maybe that's it. Perhaps I was just caught off guard. And as Mocks can tell you I was already pretty emotional that evening."

She made eye contact with Rends-the-Gar.

"Just to be clear, I am absolutely grateful that you chose not to drag me back to Galveston to be tried at the hands of the Get all those years ago."

Her gaze then shifted to the Shadow Lord.

"And I know that you love your children and that you wouldn't do anything to harm them. I also know that all of our tribes have done things in the past that they're not proud of. If anyone can restore the honor of the Shadow Lords, you can."

Rends takes a puff or two, considering his next words.

"Why did you get so worked up anyhow? I mean, we's all made sacrifices to fight our war. Giving a kid to Bat to put it back in service of Gaia ain't even that extreme, considering some of the things we've done. I've lost track how many people I've kilt. Mocks lies his ass off every chance he gets. Zas is an Injun. We've all got dirt on our hands. Why make this a big deal?"

Zoe's face wrinkled, showing disagreement with Rends' words.

"It's not the same thing. You kill people who are a threat to us or who have caused us harm. Mocks lies for a reason and I'm not even going to acknowledge your comment about Zas."

She shot a reprimanding glare at Rends.

"But Jakob is an innocent bystander. He's not even old enough to agree to the change or resist it. And like I told Mocks there are so many unknowns that make me uncomfortable with the situation. So we will keep that idea in the back of our minds as we strive to find another solution."

Mocks tried to put on a brave face.

"I appreciate the vote of confidence Zoe, but I don't know I deserve it. If I redeem it is only going to because I have assistance from you guys. Unlike the rest of my kind I am not alone searching for answers in darkness, and shadows."

His failed brave face slips away at Zoe's comment about Jakob being an innocent bystander. He hides behind his flask taking a long drink. After closing his flask he stares at the ground and speaks soft, and slow.

"Don't you think I know that Zoe? It's why its tearing me apart on the inside. It's why I hate myself for even coming up with the idea. Even once the unknown is known I won't be comfortable with doing it, because he's my son. His life would be changed forever."

He sighs and looks up.

"I'm trying not to focus on it. I really am...but until I know I won't have to do this to my son...I won't be able to forgive myself for even thinking of doing it."

Zoe shook her adamantly.

"No, no. I know that now, Mocks. I was just telling Rends how killing folks and lying to them was different to me than what has been suggested concerning the Necromantis."

She moved across the campsite to sit next to the Ragabash so she could look into his eyes.

"We're going to do everything in our power to redeem Bat and bring honor to your tribe without having to change Jakob. This reminds me of the story from the Bible of a man who was Jacob's father, Isaac. His father was instructed to sacrifice his son, but at the last possible moment, when God saw that Abraham was willing to make the sacrifice, God provided an alternative sacrifice to take Isaac's place."

Zoe smiled encouragingly.

"Perhaps your very willingness to make such a sacrifice will bring about another alternative and spare your son while still satisfying the requirement of the spirit."

Rends nods his head, motioning with his pipe to the Theurge.

"I don't usually like them stories from the Bible, but I reckon that's one I can get behind."

He pokes at the fire with a stick before feeding it to the flames.

"I reckon it's almost one of them things where the intent matters as much as the deed its self. Bat has been betrayed before, and it knows not to trust Garou. Hell, it probably don't expect us to actually come through at all. I reckon when we call it next it'll be ready for us to try and kill it instead. But when we show it its child, it'll make an impact. Even if it didn't mean to really come back to Gaia before, maybe that'll change its mind."

He tosses on another log, watching the sparks fly up and disappear.

"As fer Jakob, I honestly hope it don't come to that. I'll do everything I can to make sure it don't. But if it does..."

He trains his eyes on his Beta, fire dancing in them.

"I'm proud of you fer chosing the right path. Giving Bat his child back is one thing, but giving him one of your own?"

He shakes his head, chuckling.

"Well I'll jest say sacrifice don't mean nothing if it don't cost nothing. Hard times call fer hard decisions, and it has to be on someone to start makin' the right decisions. If there's anyone who can whip the Shadow Lords into shape, it's you."

He blinks, then barks a loud laugh.

"Luna help us all..."