I Ran Away

The next morning Kefka woke up before the sun. He never slept well when his mind was racing and waiting for the worst. He grabbed Rend 's knife from the ground beside him. He slowly stood up and found where Rends was staying. As Kefka approached one of Rends' eyes opened and glared.

"Mornin'. Jes returning your knife. Thanks for letting me borrow it again. If you're still tired I'll come back a different time, but I did want to talk to you bout somethin..."

Rends hadn't slept all night. He never could after a big battle. 7 sally because he felt so energized from pulling through again against all odds. Tonight it had been because he'd been haunted by his talk with death, mulling over the spirits words as Aknas last chilling laugh echoed in his head.

He got up slowly, accepting back the fetish.

"Makes no difference. Wanna grab some breakfast first?"

Mocks cracked a smile.

"Fine by me. If I had my choice I'd say Whiskey, but that ain't common around these parts. You want to see what we can find the woods yonder?"

Kefka nodded his head NW, and began heading off in that direction. He walks in silence until they leave the Garou camp, beore sheepishly clearing his throat.

"I uh...I am sorry for runnin' off on my own in well...whereever we were. When we made a pack we agreed to be take turns bein' leaders when our auspices demand it. It was combat, you were the Alpha. You had a plan. I ran off on my own down to find Akna. It was Selfish. Walks With Spiders and I were going to try and bind Akna on our own. That way Walks With Spiders could study Akna. Possibly be able to find a way to reverse my curse. Give us time to find a way to kill her that didn't involve well... eatin' her like had to be done. I shouldn't a done that."

Rends is silent for a long moment, walking alongside his friend.

"Ya know, you and me basically run this show. Most of the time the others look to us for leadership, and it's worked alright so far. Mostly I think cuz you and me is good friends. I got a lot of respect for ya and how yous able to talk yer way out 9 almost anything."

He turns to regard the ragabash.

"I know to listen to you when it's time to talk to folk and be sneaky. You know how to get that shit done. But you need to realize that I know how to bring the hurt on and get us through a fight. You running off on your own in the middle of enemy territory in the middle of a battle when the rest of us is already fighting fer our lives is the dumbest thing you could a done. Sure it worked this time, but the ain't no promise of next time."

Mocks can tell that Rends is exhausted and angry, but he seems distracted.

"I know how to win a battle. I ain't good fer much else, but I'm dawn good at that. You best start listening."

"I understand Rends. It ain't going to happen again. There were just special circumstances this time. I also figured if I don't fight I won't get hurt, meaning more life Kaermode was able to give to y'all. I didn't get hurt once in there. Ain't that amazing?"

He chuckles.

"You okay Rends? You seem off. Don't tell me you are worried about the fall out also? Worryin' about what my happen is my job. Yours is to brag about what we did right."

The around is silent for another moment.

"I don't think I'm commin back to Nacogdoches with yall."

He starts leading a shot I no his rifle as they walk, keeping his hands busy.

"Do you... do you reckon theys more to life than all this? More than jest fightin and killin? I like my role in life and in our pack. I'm a good killer, but I been thinking lately theys gotta be more than jest bashin in heads."

Kefka stops walking when Rends mentions not coming back to Nacogdoches. He resumes walking but now at a slower pace and is walking behind Rends.

"If not Nacogdoches where would you go? I thought you wanted to get back to Nacogdoches. We have a stake in that caern. We are safe from the fighting there at least for a little while. You said it yourself. the two of us run this show. We need you, I can't run this pack on my own."

He sighs.

"I don't think there is more than bashin in heads Rends, from the moment we was born even as kinfolk we would have been raised in this war between Gaia and the Wyrm. We are her warriors. If we ain't fightin' we ain't doin' our job. The only thing you can do is find distractions from the fighting.  We all need them. Eaton is an indian agent and has Jana. I got Harriet, am an indian agent, and your deputy. Zoe is a whiz with technology. Zas is an interpreter. We are creatures of destruction we can't do much about that. What we can do is destroy for reasons more than killin's is fun. We destroy to protect. We create a higher purpose to why we destroy. I destroy to keep Harriet and my unborn child safe. I fight to keep my pack alive. I fight to protect those who can't protect themselves. You became a Ranger Rends. That could be your higher purpose. We don't have to killers. We can be saviors."

Rends listens while Mocks the Night goes on, then shakes his head in frustration.

"I jest... I don't got nothin' outside the fight. Y'all are the only family I've got. I've bled for three Caerns now, fightin' to keep 'em from the Wyrm, but I jest... after the fight's done I don't feel fulfilled. I feel like I'm fightin' to keep y'all alive and to kill stuff, but that ain't enough. It ain't enough to keep the world safe or to protect the Humans. I don't give a shit about that. It's easy to keep focused when they's Banes starin' us down and I got fresh blood on my claws, but times like now when they's nothin' to kill and no immediate threat, I jest... don't care."

He raises up a hand, crouching down and stalking forward quietly. Ahead a lone mule deer stands at alert, scanning as if he'd heard the Garou approaching. Rends brings up his rifle, drawing a bead. Then he seems to think better of it, giving it to Mocks to make the shot.

After the two Garou finish their silent meal, Rends slings the rest of the buck over his shoulder to be butchered and dried later for the road.

"I think I'll go down to Galveston. They's more Get down there. I wanna move up a rank at any rate, and I reckon that's as good a place as any fer that since Roarin' Jack probably ain't gonna be too keen on us."

He can't hide the sullen bitterness in his voice.

"I jest need to get some time to myself to get some stuff sorted out. I'm no use to y'all bein' distracted by all this, and with Akna dealt with this is as good a time as any to take a break."

Mocks is quiet while they eat.

"I can understand wanting to get some stuff sorted out. I hate you think you got to do it alone. If you are going to Galveston Zoe is goin' to be jealous. That's where O'Toole is... or normally is. Who knows if he even made it out safely. You sure you ready to go back to Galveston, they may not be too keen bout you never bringin' Zoe back."

"We are do for a break Rends but raisin' up in rank won't be a distraction it will be work. If you want a break come to Nacogdoches. Come see my child be born and then wonder what you are fighting for. Come home to the first caern you bled for. As much as she hates to show it Red Oath likes us. Well all of us who didn't get her sister pregnant. We might not have friends any more Rends. Might not be Garou willin' to raise in rank. If anyone will it will be Red Oath."

He stands up to head back to the rest of the Garou giving a nod to Rends and standing with his back turned to him.

"If you want to leave for a little while I ain't gonna stop you. Hell we both know I couldn't even if I don't hold back. If you do go though...you got to me a favor."

He turns his head, winks and grins like a wolf at Rends.

"Bring back a lady."

He laughs loudly as he turns back to face the horizon.

Rends nods along as Mocks talks.

"I don't need a distraction. I need to focus on gettin' my head straight, then after that get movin' up settled. I cain't set still anyhow. Gotta keep busy someways. I know Red's pretty keen on us, and she's most likely to vouch for any of us these days, but I jest wanna try it through my Tribe first. Nothin' against the Iron Riders, but it'd jest mean more comin' from my own Tribe."

At the mention of bringing back a lady, the big Ahroun is suddenly awkward and actually looks the part of the just barely 18 year old boy he is.

"Ah Hell, I don't got time fer girls. I thought I jest said that."

Mocks smiled at his friend.

"I understand bud. It's why I wanted Claws of Silk to raise me in rank being a Ragabash and all. I know Jack raised me by havin' me run around but that ain't a real challenge. Claws of Silk gave me my real challenge and by havin' Jack raise me, I completed hers too."

He starts walking off turns around and begins walking backwards.

"You need to make time for girls. Ain't nothing like a good woman to keep your head straight. Even if it is because she has her hands wrapped round your throat."

He turns back around and jogs off laughing.